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Every bottle I bought promised ‘natural looking color’ and then turned me into a traffic cone. These are the ones where people genuinely asked if I went on vacation instead of asking what happened to my skin.
















Learned the hard way that self tanner is only as good as the skin underneath it. Skipping prep is why your knees and elbows look like they belong to a different person.
















Spent my first year using bare hands and wondering why my palms looked like I'd been picking pumpkins. The right tools cut my application time in half and eliminated most of my mistakes.















Put body tanner on my face exactly once. Woke up with three new cystic bumps and a shade that didn't match my neck. Face formulas exist for a reason and these ones respect your pores.
















Most self tanners need 6 to 8 hours to develop. These keep you from looking ghostly during the wait so you can actually leave your house without feeling weird.
















Nothing worse than putting in all that work and watching your glow disappear in three days. These stretched my results from four days to over a week without reapplying.
















Made a catastrophic streaky mistake at 11pm before a wedding once. Panic-Googled removal methods at midnight. These products are my emergency kit now and they've bailed me out more than once.
















A good self tan is the base layer. These go on top for events, date nights, or anytime you want your legs to look like they cost money. The difference between nice tan and wow tan.
















Half the reason I self tan is because certain colors in my closet only work when I have some color. These are the pieces I reach for the second my tan develops.














