Trust me. DON’T DO IT! Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
Or call my bluff… you do you, boo ✌🏻
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Sections
4
Feeding
Toys
Gear
Hygiene
Feeding
These suction bowls suck.
WeeSprout Suction Bowls for Baby & Toddlers (2)
This snack cup sucks. The monster eats your kiddos’ hands.
Nuby 3-D Monster Snack Keeper
These suck. Drool gets all over them.
Konssy Muslin Baby Bibs 10 Pack Cotton
These bibs suck. They deprive my dog of key nutrients from scraps falling onto the floor.
KeaBabies 2-Pack Silicone Baby Bibs - Slate
These suction plates suck. Might as well Gorilla Glue them to the table.
WeeSprout Silicone Suction Plates 3 Pack
Toys
This play mat sucks. It keeps your baby in a trance that nobody can shake. For. Hours.
Bright Starts Disney Finding Nemo Mr. Ray Gym
This piano sucks. It turns your Little into a knockoff Benson Boone.
Best Choice 37-Key Kids Electronic Piano Toy
These suck. Never have I ever seen one of these castles fully constructed- Definitely not because my toddler destroys everything like Godzilla.
Magnetic Tiles 100PCS with 2 Cars STEM Toy
This projector sucks. It completely ruins my storytelling by forcing me to rest my vocal cords.
Little Tikes Story Dream Machine Starter Set
This. Sucks. Only 4 Tonie characters? I mean come on.
Toniebox 2 Audio Player Disney Bundle Kids 3+
This oven sucks. The cookies taste like plastic.
Little Tikes First Oven Play Kitchen with Sounds
This water table sucks all the fun out of summer.
Throw ’em the hose.
Let ’em build character.
Step2 Rain Showers Splash Pond Water Table
This sensory table sucks. All the items that should be nicely stored in those buckets end up on the floor. 7,262,829 times a day.
VEVOR Sensory Table for Toddlers with Storage
This bath toy sucks. My toddler uses the yellow cup to drink bath water.
Bath Toys for Kids 1-3 Years with Cups
This otterly adorable toy sucks. It puts ME to sleep.
FISHER-PRICE Soothe 'n Snuggle Otter Sound Machine
These suck. My toddler finds the baby every-single-time during hide-and-seek due to these rattles. No fun.
Infinno Baby Wrist Rattle Socks & Foot Finder
These suction toys suck. Will cause bruising if suctioned to your forehead.
Suction Cup Spinner Toy for Baby 12-18M
This octopus sucks. No holes for mold to grow inside. Mold builds character, right? Oh wait… It builds illness. Never mind.
Nuby Floating Octopus with 3 Hoopla Rings
Gear
This harness sucks. Gives me zero excuse to be unproductive.
Infantino Flip 4-in-1 Ergonomic Baby Carrier
This playpen sucks. It’s more like a baby jail. And my toddlers keep trying to break him out.
Baby Playpen 50x50 Inch with Breathable Mesh
This carrier. It sucks. My toddler attempted a backflip. Apparently it’s also a gymnastics apparatus.
Tushbaby Original Hip Seat Carrier, Grey, 45 lbs
These earmuffs suck. They limit my baby’s ability to truly rock out at a concert.
Alpine Muffy Baby Ear Protection for Toddlers
Hygiene
All brands of these suck. Bite those Wolverine claws off instead.
Frida Baby Electric Nail Buffer Kit w/ LED Light
This snot sucker sucks. It truly sucks. Sucky sucky sucks.
Frida Baby NoseFrida SnotSucker Nasal Aspirator with 24 Filters
