Benable — create shareable lists of things you recommend!
E.g., products you love, local businesses, travel recs - you can add anything to a Benable list!
Freelance Life & Caregiving Stories: Java and Ink Blog
61
items I didn’t start freelancing because I dreamed of running a business. I started because my mom had dementia, and I needed work that could fit around her care. This is where I share what that’s actually looked like: building a writing and editing busine...
Last year, I shared that Mother’s Day was the hardest one yet.
Not because my mom had passed; because she hadn't. She was still here, sitting beside me, laughing at my jokes, but not knowing I was her daughter.
Dementia grief is strange like that. ...
But who am I without this?
When I started my small business for editing and writing in 2022, it wasn't just about flexibility with my time. It was about being able to care for my mom when she was diagnosed with dementia. Since sharing my 3-part blog about her passing in March,...
What made it just a little easier
After the Ugly and the Bad, there was still Good. This final piece in the series is about cardinals, coloring apps, coffee carts, and how love shows up even in the small moments. It's also about my mom—who she really was—and what it meant to be there...
A Week in Three Parts, Part 3
Just like we don't talk about the physical decline, we also don't talk enough about what grief looks like when you're in the middle of it. Part 2 of my three-part reflection is “The Bad.” Sleeping in three different hotels in one week, trying to hold...
A Week in Three Parts, Part 2
It's been a week since my mom passed away. In that time, I wrote a three-part reflection on the final week of her life. I experienced the ugly, the bad, and the good all at once—but each piece deserved its own space. This first part, The Ugly, is abo...
A Week in Three Parts, Part 1
** Trigger warning — this blog is about a hurt animal who died due to trauma ** When two birds collided with glass, one was seen and saved while the other was left unnoticed until it was too late. The timing is eerie and feels more like fate than a c...
Seeing an ugly truth may just become a saving grace...
Pruning my plants is always hard for me, but I didn't expect it to really teach me some lessons this past weekend. Pruning means I have to literally cut back something that's still alive, still trying to thrive. So, how do I know I'm not just stoppin...
But what if it hurts? What if I’ve stopped it from growing?
50 came in with a twist I didn't expect. A solo 7-course meal and a few gut-check moments made for a memorable day. It wasn't the birthday I hoped for, but there were bright spots: kindness from strangers, love from my tribe, and a reminder that mayb...
Well…at least it was one to remember
Some seasons aren't about growth—they're about just getting through. Sharing some thoughts on survival, change, and what thriving actually looks like right now.
It was bound to happen one day...
In my mom’s memory care center, there are no mirrors. They can cause confusion and anxiety, even violent reactions, when someone doesn't recognize who's looking at them. Because to them, it's not a "mirror," it's another actual person. I've been doin...
The Mirror is Man's Worst Invention
2024 was a year of struggle and growth—personal revelations, caring for my mom, and rediscovering my dreams. It all came together in one amazing thing my mom said during a recent visit: “We jump or die.” This year, I’m ready to leap with intention, i...
We Jump or Die: My Reflection and Resolve to Start a New Year
An AI image generator created the perfect version of my life: cozy, peaceful, and serene. But my real life? It's messy: caregiving, relationship struggles, and continuing a journey through my own growth. The image got my brain really working early th...
Really? That's what you think of me?
It’s funny how being my being a ‘Protector’ means so much more than what I view as just keeping people safe. Recently, I've been shown that my natural, almost uncontrollable, instinct to shield those I love might also be putting them in boxes of my o...
Protecting too many boxes
Life has a way of revealing unexpected lessons in the places we think we know. My experience has taught me that the real story lies beneath the surface, in moments of quiet strength, change, and connection. My latest blog reveals these unseen layers ...
It’s not what you think—looking beneath the surface
Balancing expectations has been a huge blessing in my life, especially with the changes that perimenopause, caregiving for my mom, and running my business have brought. I’ve learned to embrace my body’s evolution, accept what Mom is capable of each d...
Perimenopause, Pasta, and Play-Doh
I was recently classified as someone who likes the mafia and bad boys. Upwork. What were you thinking? Don't hear me complaining. I really like Upwork. I owe a great deal of the success of Java and Ink to it. But I've also noticed recently that it do...
Upwork just doesn't get me anymore
Starting from nothing can be scary. Caring for a loved one with dementia with no knowledge of what's ahead or how to cope with stressful, and potentially unsafe, situations. Starting a journey as a new business owner, with zero experience and so much...
You have to start somewhere, and more often than not, you start with nothing
I don't know if my mom had dreams for her life. I know she enjoyed most of the jobs she had. I know she was grateful to have been able to see many places. But dreams? I just don't know what hers were. Have a dream? Be like Newton.
You never know until you try
🔌💭 Rewire your thinking. 🚷🧐 Be particular about who's allowed in your space. 🙋♀️🤔 Ask questions because you don't know everything.
"If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
Another experience with imposter syndrome, doubt, and lack of self-confidence. An 81-year-old woman who sees herself as a young adult due to dementia. And the ongoing journey to remember and embrace your value.
Just when you think IS is gone
It's funny how it only takes one letter to change the meaning of a word. Or how a language barrier can have you asking for an adult film instead of bathroom tissue. In my role as an editor, I aim to bring clarity and accuracy to my clients' content, ...
Just one letter is all it takes
A milestone birthday (well, almost). A bucket list that still needs items checked off. And a surprise visitor who added one more checkmark to the list. Read about how the lucky ones get to leap in my new blog post.
The lucky ones get to leap
I shared on LinkedIn that The Husband and I had an amazing experience last weekend that surrounded our #STORYBOOKLOVE. Combining this with a lonely cardinal and my mom's journey, I think I've found some pretty good love stories to share.
Maybe one day, Charlie
I moved a bird nesting box in my backyard, and a surprise resident moved in. This got me thinking about the true meaning of rest. Have you ever thought about what's so different between "recoup" rest and "reset" rest? Well, I learned that my mom's jo...
I'm having way too much fun resting
I threw a party for my squirrels. They ignored the piñata full of walnuts and went straight for the peanuts—because it was easier. And somehow, that reminded me of career changes, caregiving, and my mom’s courage to start over at 56. This blog is abo...
It's so much easier to just eat the peanuts...
Full transparency: freelancing led to a significant income drop – more than half – from my executive position, which had an annual potential of $50k. This was a big blow for me, a very independent, self-sufficient woman. But I refused to let this HUG...
When you lose half of what you need
While driving to visit my mom this morning, I saw a record number of seven hot air balloons in the sky. I've never seen this many at one time, and it was extremely beautiful and quite distracting as I was trying to drive on an interstate system. Even...
When was the last time you tried something new?
I knew freelancing wouldn't be a cakewalk, but I didn't realize how much of this lifestyle revolved around building a business. When you work for a company as an employee, the business is typically built, and the SOPs are already crafted and provided...
Compared to what?
For the past year, I've treated myself like a "worker bee," feeling at the mercy of whoever will take pity on me and occasionally toss me a crumb of a job. I've not set my mind on an empowering pattern of success, with the confidence that my years of...
When the answer is still no...
It's just a few days before Christmas, and The Husband and I were having dinner at Cracker Barrel. As we shared memories of our favorite gifts from Christmas pasts, I fondly remembered one of mine: a rustic, old, charming whiskey barrel my father gav...
Just one glance is all it takes...
I don't know why it's so cute; it's just a little rodent eating his breakfast, but there's just something about the way they hold their peanut that's just adorable. However, I didn't have the same response the other day when I was visiting with my mo...
It's cute when they do it...
At the heart of my business model is a commitment to understanding and fulfilling the unique needs of each project. It's not merely a transactional exchange for me; it's about creating tailored solutions that resonate with the goals and visions of my...
Generosity unaware...
I know that if I don't adjust this mindset (which can drop negatively daily or even on a moment-by-moment basis), it will hinder my business success.
Finding a squirrel mindset in Downward Dog
Sometimes, success underscores the value of practical experience over formal education.
You look good on paper...
Last year, when I quit my job as an executive administrator in order to dedicate most of my time to the caregiving aspects of helping my mom during the most vulnerable stage of her life, I wasn't prepared. I jumped into the world of freelancing with ...
Living life without lipstick
The past few months of freelancing have been a real struggle. I feel like my freelancing resembles the pose of one of my backyard squirrels. It's beyond frustrating. I love the three consistent clients I have and enjoy my work with them. But their co...
Hanging on by a foot...
It’s been almost two months since I sat alone in my meditation garden and actually meditated. I wish I could say I haven’t been in my garden because the intense heat in Central Florida has kept me inside. But, no, it’s not because of the heat. For th...
I know this, too, shall pass.
I finally reached a 100% Job Success Score (JSS) on the Upwork Freelance Talent platform. Even after waiting MONTHS for this achievement, I just wasn't excited about it.
Even the squirrels think it's tough out there...
Second-guessing becomes second nature when you own a business, especially as a freelance editor. And even then, even after you’ve put your own blood, sweat, tears, and HOURS attempting to help an author weave their words into their readers' minds (an...
How do you stop second guessing
I know I have to understand that "I can't have what I want, and she can't be who she once was." I have to let go. And that's okay. Because by letting go of what cannot be, I am able to embrace what can.
When it's time to let go.
My business mentor said I couldn't put all of my eggs or, in my case, squirrels in one basket. Just as putting five squirrels in a basket will probably not end well, neither is placing my confidence in just one, two, or three clients to provide me wi...
Don't put all your squirrels in one basket.
Being a freelancer also means there will be days when things don't show up. Like work. There have been days this past week when there's just no work to do. On these days, I have to figure out what to do with my time.
When the squirrels don't show up
Gatekeeping information from hopeful entrepreneurs can be harmful for several reasons. -- It stifles innovation -- It limits opportunity -- It promotes inequality
Stop hoarding the nuts!
Howard the squirrel doesn’t trust me. Jasper the cat barely tolerates me. But between them, I’ve learned a thing or two about building trust—especially as a freelancer. This post ties together backyard wildlife, client relationships, and why authenti...
A squirrel with trust issues
There have been some days recently where the weight of struggling to succeed as a freelance editor and writer hasn't felt as heavy as it did a few months ago. Days where I can breathe a little easier because I'm putting automations in place, honing m...
"Work the problem, don't guess."
My world revolves around words. It has been this way since I was three years old when I learned to read. I love words, love to learn new words, find out what words mean, and improve how I combine words. But my mom is losing her words. Rapidly.
At a loss for words...
Another semi-Conversation with Bertrand article is here, this one with some relevant freelancing tips! He comes down early each morning to inspect the buffet line and see if the peanuts are in the bowl yet. Scurrying about, hoping he doesn't have to ...
It finally happened.
I've said it before. Freelancing is hard work. But if you adapt your mindset to recognize that when others are depending on your time freedom, the hard work, in the beginning, will provide more peace of mind down the road. You may find that a new pat...
The fear of holding a peanut in a shell
Curiosity driving backward on Mars has worked for NASA. So, I will learn from their solution and work differently to earn what I'm worth.
Driving backward on Mars
Did it matter whether or not I had on makeup and fixed my hair? Would my physical appearance contribute any more to my being awarded the job versus what my portfolio reveals?
Never underestimate the power of preparation
Bring on those opportunities because I'm ready to give 98%. It may not be perfect, but I'll know I gave it my not best. And maybe the results will still be just fine.
Do your not-best
Editors have a different life than authors. While our names may appear in the acknowledgment section of a book, they do not show on the front cover. Our picture is not the one on the back of the jacket. Editors are behind-the-scenes, and this is wher...
If You Give a Squirrel an Apple
Being flexible enough to extend a helping hand to someone is all part of being your own boss. Allowing yourself flexibility in your schedule each day helps you better recognize when that schedule needs to be tweaked so you can share your time resourc...
The best-laid plans of squirrel and woman
At first, it was hard for me to tell Bertrand from the impostor squirrel. Squirrels do tend to all look alike, you know. I have now experienced feeling like an impostor in my freelance work.
The Impostor Squirrel
When the right people are in place to support the freelancer on the adventure of a lifetime (that frequently benefits everyone around them), the freelancer can find times of rest, knowing they don't have to be on this life-changing journey all alone.
It's a fine job for a squirrel...
Freelancing felt like the right move—until I started feeling like a squirrel caught in the headlights. In this post, I talk about fear, job stats, and why Bertrand (yes, the squirrel) isn’t exactly a career coach. It’s about the hard parts of startin...
Got kind of a squirrel-in-the-headlights look…
A dream come true. I was so excited. And then I wasn’t.
When a dream comes true … and then sucks.
This made me realize that I cannot control how someone responds to me. I can only do what I feel is right in response to what they do to me.
There are always two sides to a story.
I'm not working a full-time job, at least not in the "typical 9-to-5" sense. So how can I be picky about which projects I take and turn down? How can I think this is a wise way to make a living? Seems a little nuts, huh?
The things you can learn from a toilet…
It amazes me how a simple thing Bertrand does can reflect what I'm experiencing on a given day.
This squirrel gets me.
On a lot of days, I sit on my back porch around 12:30 in the afternoon, enjoying an espresso. Most days, I am joined by a little squirrel. His name is Bertrand. Bertrand and I have had a lot of conversations over the past year since we moved to Orlan...
DEAR NASA...