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Hated But Handy -Survival Items That Might Make Them Love You
15
items The world has ended. It’s just you and them—and they hate your guts. But survival requires teamwork, and maybe—just maybe—these 15 essential items will keep you both alive long enough for love (or at least tolerable cohabitation) to bloom. This isn’t...
You’re not just hydrated—you’re heroic. Offer it first. “I’d die for you to drink clean water… literally.”
LifeStraw Personal Water Filter for Hiking
Survival flex: Start a fire in a hurricane. Warmth = safety = comfort. “Let me light a fire… not just in this cave, but in your cold, cold heart.”
UCO Titan Stormproof Waterproof Windproof Match Kit
Lights up dark places… like their attitude. “Look, I brought light. Unlike you, who only brings shade.”
Kizen Solar Rechargeable Camping Lantern
Multi-use: survival, cooking, cutting vines, carving “I’m sorry” into bark. “Here, take the knife. I trust you. Please don’t stab me… again.”
CIVIVI Mini Praxis 2.98" D2 Steel EDC Knife
Technically food. Psychologically an apology. “It’s a cosmic dessert. Let’s eat like astronauts… and not murder each other.”
Freeze Dried Neapolitan Ice Cream Candy 2 Pack
Get weather alerts and slow-dance to static. “It’s not music, but I swear that hum is better than silence between us.”
10000mAh Hand Crank NOAA Weather Radio
Nothing says “truce” like a shared burrito blanket. “One body bag or one cuddle bag—you choose.”
Emergency Sleeping Bags 2 Pack | Survival
Stay clean. Smell decent. Maybe be less repulsive. “I washed. Your move.”
SUN NINJA Portable 8L Camping Shower, 7 Mode Head
Avoid poisoning them. Bonus: Impress with wilderness wisdom. “This berry’s edible. Just like the silence when you ignore me.”
The New Garden Survival Bible: 5 in 1 Guide
Because boredom breeds murder. Play instead. “Loser of Go Fish has to admit they kind of like me.”
Hoyle Waterproof Playing Cards, Clear, 1 Deck
Write poetry. Sketch them. Leave notes like: “I hate you the least.”
Rite In The Rain Weatherproof Notebook 4x6, 3 Pack
Patch their wounds. Metaphorical and literal. “I brought bandages. For the knife in my back.”
SurviveX Zip Stitch Wound Closure Strips Kit
There’s no reception, but it charges hope. And flashlights. “We can’t call for help, but we can charge our fake phones and pretend we’re popular.”
BLAVOR 10,000mAh Solar Power Bank 20W
Signaling device. Grooming tool. Unexpected romantic prop. “I brought a mirror so you can look at yourself and realize I’m not the worst thing here.”
Signal Mirror Survival Kit 3x5 in w/ Whistle
Long-lasting, high-energy survival bar with 3,600 calories. U.S. Coast Guard approved, kosher-certified, and designed to withstand extreme temperatures (–22 °F to 149 °F). Each bar comes individually wrapped in coconut–shortbread flavor—compact, non‑...
S.O.S. Rations Emergency 3600 Calorie Food Bar