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Almost Rude Threads Tees/Hoodies/Crewnecks/Misc

34 items

Erica Portonova

Almost Rude Threads is your go-to for unapologetically witty, borderline savage t-shirts and hoodies.

Sections

Tees for the easily annoyed

Hoodies for the Unhinged

Casually Chaotic Crewnecks

Stuff you didn't ask for

Tees for the easily annoyed

For the days when your patience is on backorder and your tolerance is at zero percent. This tee is soft, comfy, and unapologetically blunt — the perfect uniform for anyone fully committed to their “not today” era.

In my 'not today' era

For the ones who don’t coddle feelings, tiptoe around egos, or apologize for existing loudly. This tee is soft, comfy, and dangerously honest — perfect for anyone who unintentionally (or very intentionally) shatters fragile egos on a daily basis.

Fragile ego slayer

For the girl who lives in her own world — and honestly prefers it there. This tee is soft, comfy, and proudly unhinged, perfect for anyone thriving in their delulu era by pure choice. Manifesting? Maybe. Delusional? Absolutely. Iconic? Always.

Delulu by choice

For the ones who wake up every morning with caffeine in their cup and audacity in their bloodstream. This tee is soft, bold, and unapologetically honest — a wearable warning label for anyone who operates on confidence, chaos, and a little too much ma...

Audacity Included

This “Professionally Feral” tee is made for anyone who’s mastered the art of being unhinged with skill. Soft, comfortable, and aggressively honest, it’s the perfect everyday uniform for the chronically chaotic, the semi‑domesticated, and the individu...

Professionally Feral

Some people spread joy. Others spread… minor disruptions. This “I Cause Inconvenience” tee is made for anyone who proudly operates as a lovable menace to the timeline. Soft, comfortable, and brutally honest, it’s the perfect everyday uniform for thos...

I cause inconvenience

For the woman who doesn’t just survive the chaos — she runs it. This black tee is the official uniform of the one who keeps the group chat alive, the plans together, and the entire operation from falling apart.

Chaos Queen

Some people speak in emojis. You speak in eye-rolls — fluent, expressive, and impossible to ignore. This cozy black tee is your official uniform for surviving nonsense with style. Soft, snarky, and effortlessly wearable, it’s perfect for those days w...

I speak fluent eye-roll

For the ones who hold onto two things with equal dedication: their snacks and their grudges. This black tee is soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest — a whole mood for anyone who remembers everything and keeps a snack stash for emotional support (...

Grudges and Snacks

A little bold, a little blunt, and absolutely unforgettable — this tee is for the ones who toe the line between rude and iconic on a daily basis. Soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest, it’s the ideal uniform for anyone who delivers their truth wit...

Almost Rude (but iconic)

This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is perfect for introverts, socially selective people, and anyone who values peace over small talk.

Not Interested

A quiet reminder that not everything needs your energy. This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is perfect for anyone who chooses calm over chaos and boundaries over burnout. Comfortable, easy to style, and effortlessly cool, it’s an everyday statement pi...

Selective Participation Maximum Peace

Quiet, comfortable, and intentionally low-key. This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is made for those who recharge in solitude and prefer calm over chaos. Soft, easy to style, and effortlessly relatable, it’s perfect for everyday wear — whether you’re ...

Introvert Life

Because forced conversations cause a reaction. This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is made for introverts, deep thinkers, and anyone who prefers meaningful conversation—or silence. Comfortable, easy to style, and subtly sarcastic, it’s an everyday sta...

Allergic to small talk

Minimal in the front. Honest in the back. This two-sided graphic tee/hoodie is made for introverts who fully embrace their quiet era. Soft, comfortable, and easy to style, it’s the perfect mix of subtle and sarcastic — ideal for everyday wear, loungi...

Introvert Life - Avoid People

Hoodies for the Unhinged

For the girl who lives in her own world — and honestly prefers it there. This hoodie is soft, comfy, and proudly unhinged, perfect for anyone thriving in their delulu era by pure choice. Manifesting? Maybe. Delusional? Absolutely. Iconic? Always.

Delulu by choice

For the ones who don’t brag — they just exist loudly enough that everyone else notices. This hoodie is a whole vibe for anyone who’s lowkey legendary, effortlessly built different, and fully aware they’re a limited edition.

Lowkey Legendary. Built Different. Limited Edition

This “Allergic to Small Talk” hoodie — complete with a perfectly unimpressed cat — is made for anyone who prefers silence, sarcasm, or meaningful conversations over weather updates and forced chit‑chat. Soft, warm, and unapologetically honest, it’s t...

Allergic to small talk

A little bold, a little blunt, and absolutely unforgettable — this black hoodie is for the ones who toe the line between rude and iconic on a daily basis. Soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest, it’s the ideal uniform for anyone who delivers their ...

Almost Rude (but iconic)

For the ones holding everything together with equal parts grit, sarcasm, and sheer willpower — this black hoodie is your unofficial badge of honor. Soft, cozy, and built for the beautifully overwhelmed, it’s perfect for anyone who somehow ends up org...

Chaos Coordinator

For the ones who hold onto two things with equal dedication: their snacks and their grudges. This hoodie is soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest — a whole mood for anyone who remembers everything and keeps a snack stash for emotional support (or ...

Grudges and Snacks

For the woman who doesn’t just survive the chaos — she runs it. This black hoodie is the official uniform of the one who keeps the group chat alive, the plans together, and the entire operation from falling apart.

Chaos Queen

Some people speak in emojis. You speak in eye-rolls — fluent, expressive, and impossible to ignore. This cozy black hoodie is your official uniform for surviving nonsense with style. Soft, snarky, and effortlessly wearable, it’s perfect for those day...

I speak fluent eye-roll

A whole mood, honestly. This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is made for anyone juggling too much noise, too many expectations, and not enough credit.

Overstimulated Underappreciated

This minimalist graphic tee/hoodie is perfect for introverts, socially selective people, and anyone who values peace over small talk.

Not Interested

Selective Participation Maximum Peace

Introvert Life

Introvert Life - Avoid People

Casually Chaotic Crewnecks

For the ones who hold onto two things with equal dedication: their snacks and their grudges. This crewneck is soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest — a whole mood for anyone who remembers everything and keeps a snack stash for emotional support (o...

Lowkey Legendary. Built Different. Limited Edition

A little bold, a little blunt, and absolutely unforgettable — this crewneck is for the ones who toe the line between rude and iconic on a daily basis. Soft, comfy, and unapologetically honest, it’s the ideal uniform for anyone who delivers their trut...

Almost Rude (but iconic)

Grudges and Snacks

Stuff you didn't ask for

For the people who don’t just help — they attack the problem head‑on. This “Aggressively Helpful” mug, complete with an over‑eager shark, is made for anyone whose support style is… intense, enthusiastic, and maybe a little alarming.

Aggressively Helpful

Start your day with caffeine and questionable instincts. This “Professionally Feral” mug is made for anyone who functions… but only in the loosest, most chaotic sense of the word. Whether you’re sipping coffee, tea, or pure spite, this mug broadcasts...

Professionally Feral

For the mornings when your face says everything your HR file wishes you wouldn’t. This white ceramic mug pairs a perfectly unimpressed cat with the iconic line, “Bold of you to think I cared.” It’s the ultimate side‑eye in drinkware form — ideal for ...

Bold of you...