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I Finally Found a Way to Stop My Kids From Fighting Every Single Day
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items My kids were at each other's throats constantly. Screaming matches over who got the bigger piece of cake, tears before school, and I was losing my mind refereeing all day. I set up a weekly compliment jar where each kid writes something nice about th...
Sections
12
Compliment Jar Supplies That Actually Last
Writing Prompts for Kids Who Say I Don't Know What to Write
Reward System Supplies That Keep Kids Motivated
Family Meeting Setup for Reading Compliments Together
Sibling Bonding Activities Beyond the Jar
Books About Kindness That Don't Feel Preachy
Compliment Jar Supplies That Actually Last
The first jar I used was a random pasta sauce jar and my kid knocked it off the counter day two. These hold up to real family chaos and look cute enough that the kids want to participate.
Grab this instead of recycling a spaghetti jar like I did. Wide mouth means little hands can actually reach in without dumping everything on the floor.
Ball, Glass Mason Jars, 32 oz, Wide Mouth, with Lids
Use these for decorating the jar itself. My 6-year-old went wild on it, and now she treats the jar like her personal art project. Washes right off hands too.
Crayola Broad Line Markers 10 Count, Classic Colours
Stick these on the jar so each kid has their own color-coded section. My son insisted on green and his sister wanted pink, so crisis averted before it started.
Avery Removable Labels, 1/2" x 1-3/4", Neon, 180 Count
Toss the plain white paper. My kids actually fight LESS when they get to pick a fun color for their compliment slip each week. Small win, big payoff.
Astrobrights Color Paper, 8.5 x 11", 24 lb/89 Gsm
Keep a pair near the jar station so kids can cut their own slips. My 8-year-old feels very grown-up about this, which means he actually does it without me nagging.
Fiskars 5in Pointed-tip Kids Scissors Pink
Perfect for anyone whose kid wants to glue stickers or drawings onto their compliment slips. My daughter turns hers into tiny greeting cards every single time.
Elmer's Disappearing Purple School Glue Sticks Washable
Pair these with glue sticks for jar decoration day. The first Sunday we set up, my kids spent an hour decorating instead of arguing. I nearly cried.
Creativity Street Pom Pons, .5", Assorted Glitter Colors 80
Switch to this if you want something a little fancier on the shelf. The cork lid gives it a cozy vibe and my kids love the pop sound when they open it.
Darice Glass Bottles Assorted Vintage Blue With Cork 6.5
Writing Prompts for Kids Who Say I Don't Know What to Write
My son stared at a blank slip for ten minutes the first week and then wrote ‘you’re okay I guess.' These prompt cards fixed that real fast.
Use these to make your own prompt cards. I wrote things like 'what's something your sibling did that made you laugh?' and it broke the ice immediately.
Crayola, Construction Paper, 240 Pages
Grab these for writing the prompts on card stock. They don't smear like regular markers, so the cards survive sticky fingers all week long.
Sharpie Permanent Markers, Fine Point
Keep this next to the jar for kids who want to write more than a one-liner. My daughter started journaling full paragraphs about her brother. He pretends not to care but I saw him smiling.
Mead Primary Journal Half Page Ruled Writing Tablet: K-2 Composition Notebook with Picture Space
Toss a pad near the jar for quick compliments during the week, not just the Sunday ritual. My son stuck one on his sister's door that said 'you're less annoying than the dog' and honestly, progress.
Post-it Sticky Notes, 3x3 inches, Canary Yellow
Perfect for the little ones who can't grip regular pencils yet. My 4-year-old draws pictures instead of writing words and it counts just the same.
Customer reviews for Ticonderoga My First Pencils
Swap these in for younger kids who break regular crayons in half out of frustration. No peeling, no snapping, no meltdown before they even start writing.
Crayola, Twistables Colored Pencil Set, 12 Ct
Use these as pre-cut compliment slips so nobody has to deal with scissors. For families with toddlers around, fewer sharp objects is always the move.
Pacon PAC5135-12 3 x 5 in. White Ruled Index Cards
Stick this on the fridge and add a star every time someone writes a compliment without being asked. My kids turned it into a competition, which for once was a GOOD kind of sibling rivalry.
Teacher Created Resources Confetti Incentive Chart
Reward System Supplies That Keep Kids Motivated
Week one was exciting. Week three my son asked if he still had to do this. A small reward system kept the momentum going without turning it into bribery. Mostly.
Stick one on the chart every time a kid writes a genuine compliment. My daughter hoards her sticker sheet like currency. Whatever works honestly.
TREND School Fun Sparkle Stickers Variety Pack
Toss this on the counter filled with dollar store prizes. When someone fills a row on the chart, they pick from the chest. My son will do almost anything for a bouncy ball.
Treasure Chest Trading Company | 25+ Listings for sale
Keep a few of these in the reward chest. Both my kids go absolutely feral for silly putty and it costs basically nothing. Cheap motivation at its finest.
Crayola Silly Putty Original Bulk Set Bundle - 24 Pack
Throw a mini can in the reward chest. My 6-year-old picked Play-Doh over candy last week and I felt like I was winning at parenting for once.
Play-Doh, Color Refill Sticks, 10 Pack, Kids Arts and Crafts
Snag a few for the treasure chest if you've got a car-obsessed kid. My son wrote the nicest compliment he's ever written because he spotted a blue one in the box.
Hot Wheels Basic 1:64 Car 72-Piece H Assortment
Drop a small bag in as a special monthly reward. My kids read all the month's compliments out loud while eating jelly beans and it became our favorite family night.
Jelly Belly 20 Flavor Assorted Jelly Beans
Try these as a bonus reward. Kids scratch off the black coating to reveal rainbow colors underneath, and my daughter used hers to write EXTRA compliments. Full circle moment.
Melissa & Doug Scratch Art Rainbow Mini Notes
Use a paint session as a bigger milestone reward. When both kids filled their chart, we did a family paint night. Zero fighting for two whole hours. Record-breaking.
Crayola 6 count Washable Kids' Paint 2 ounce Bottles
Family Meeting Setup for Reading Compliments Together
We read the jar out loud every Sunday night. The first time my son heard his sister say he was brave, he got quiet for a full minute. That silence was worth every penny.
Toss a few of these on the living room floor for a cozy reading circle. My kids actually sit still when they're comfortable, which is a scientific breakthrough in our house.
Mainstays Honeycomb Ivory Throw Pillow, 18 in x 18
Bring this out for Sunday reading time. The fake candle makes it feel special and my daughter calls it our ‘kindness ceremony.’ I'm not correcting her.
Better Homes & Gardens 2PK Flameless LED Pillar White
Drape this over the couch for family meeting nights. My son wraps himself up like a burrito and somehow pays attention better when he's cocooned.
Mainstays Extra Plush Lightweight Sherpa Throw Blanket
Light this during reading time and the whole room smells like a bakery. My kids associate the smell with nice words now. Pavlov would be proud.
Yankee Candle, Scented Candle, 22 oz, Vanilla Cupcake
Pour hot cocoa in these during winter readings. My kids sip and listen and it's the calmest thirty minutes of my entire week. Worth every cent.
(6 pack) Mainstays 12 oz White Glazed Stoneware Mug
Keep a box stocked for family meeting nights. Nothing makes a kid sit through reading compliments like a warm mug. Bribery? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.
Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa Mix with Marshmallows
Toss these in the cocoa and suddenly your kids think Sunday night is a holiday. My son rates family meetings by marshmallow count now.
Great Value Marshmallows, 10 oz Bag
Lay this down to mark the reading spot. My kids know when the rug comes out, it's kindness time. Having a physical space for it made the habit stick.
Mainstays Sports Round Indoor Area Rug, 47.75 in
Sibling Bonding Activities Beyond the Jar
The jar opened a door but I needed more ways to keep the peace. These turned ‘stop touching me’ energy into actual teamwork, at least for an hour at a time.
Pair siblings up on a build challenge. My kids argued for the first five minutes then spent an hour making a ‘dog hotel’ together. I didn't intervene once.
LEGO Classic Medium Creative Brick Box 10696
Pull this out on rainy afternoons. My kids laugh so hard playing this that they forget they were fighting ten minutes ago. Instant reset button.
Hasbro, Gaming Guess Who, Includes People and Pets
Sit both kids at the table with these. No ink on furniture means I can actually relax while they color side by side. The quiet is almost suspicious.
Crayola Color Wonder Mess Free Blank Coloring Pages
Dump these out and tell the kids to build something together. My son let his sister add the top piece and she talked about it for three days straight.
Melissa & Doug 100 Wood Blocks
Keep this in the game closet for after-dinner play. Quick rounds mean nobody gets bored and my kids actually take turns without me standing over them.
Connect 4 Classic Grid Game, 4 in a Row Strategy for Kids
Try a joint sculpture project. My kids made a ‘family portrait’ out of Model Magic and it's sitting on our shelf looking absolutely terrifying but they made it TOGETHER.
Crayola Model Magic Craft Pack, 6 Colors Per Pack, 3 Packs
Bring this out when tensions are low. The buzzer makes everyone jump and laugh and it's hard to be mad at your sibling when you're both giggling.
Operation Electronic Board Game, Funny Ailments
Toss these on the table with no instructions. My kids made each other friendship bracelets out of pipe cleaners and wore them to school the next day.
Creativity Street Chenille Stems, Regular
Books About Kindness That Don't Feel Preachy
I tried reading my kids a lecture-y kindness book once and my son literally fell asleep on page three. These actually hold their attention and the messages sink in without the eye rolls.
Grab this one first. It explains kindness using a bucket metaphor that clicked for both my kids instantly. My son now says ‘that filled my bucket’ and I melt every time.
Carol McCloud Have You Filled a Bucket Today? Guide
Read this one together on a Sunday night. My daughter got really quiet afterward and then went and drew a picture for the shy kid in her class. No prompting from me.
The Invisible Boy by Ludwig Trudy | PDF
Try this if your kids think being kind to someone they don't like is impossible. The ending surprised both my kids and sparked a real conversation about giving people chances.
ENEMY PIE BY DEREK MUNSON
Keep tissues nearby for this one. It doesn't have a happy ending and that's exactly why it works. My son still brings it up months later when he sees someone being left out.
Pre-Owned Each Kindness, by Jacqueline Woodson
Pair this with a family outing. We read it then rode the city bus downtown and my kids noticed things they never paid attention to before. Perspective shift in real time.
Last Stop on Market Street
Perfect for the kid who feels different and doesn't know how to talk about it. My daughter saw herself in this book and it opened up a conversation I didn't know she needed.
Strictly No Elephants
Classic for a reason. My son asked ‘why does the tree keep giving everything away?’ and we had a twenty-minute talk about generosity. From a picture book. Worth it.
The Giving Tree (Anniversary 50) (Hardcover)
Snag this for bedtime reading. It's gentle and slow and my kids always fall asleep calm after this one. Way better than the hyper books they usually pick.
Pre-Owned A Sick Day for Amos McGee by Philip C Stead
Calm Down Corner Supplies for When Kindness Feels Hard
Some days my kids cannot find a single nice thing to say about each other. On those days we take a break in the calm down corner first. It's not punishment, it's a reset.
Keep this in the calm corner for when big feelings hit. My son traces the maze with his finger until his breathing slows down, then he can actually think of something kind to write.
hand2mind Mindful Maze Garden Pack
Toss this in a bin in the calm corner. There's something about squishing sand that drains the anger right out of my kids. Five minutes and they're ready to try again.
Kinetic Sand, Kids Play Sand, 2lb, Pink Crystal Shimmer
Use these when your kid says 'I don't know why I'm mad.' Rolling the cube and naming the face helps them figure out what's actually going on. Saved us many meltdowns.
Learning Resources Soft Emoji Cubes, Social Skills
Keep these in the calm corner with blank paper. My daughter draws her feelings when she can't say them, and honestly her angry drawings are kind of impressive.
Crayola, Colored Pencils, 24 Count
Grab this for teaching deep breaths. Open it up, breathe in. Close it, breathe out. My son thought it was a toy at first but now he reaches for it when he's overwhelmed.
Customer reviews for Hoberman Sphere Rainbow
Use this as a feelings journal in the calm corner. My 8-year-old writes down what made him upset and by the time he's done, he's usually over it. Cheaper than therapy.
Pen+Gear Composition Book, Wide Ruled
Drape this over your kid's lap in the calm corner. The weight is grounding and my daughter says it feels like a hug. She asks for it before I even suggest it now.
Sensory Basics: Weighted Lap Pad - 3 lbs Ocean Mint Green
Bring this to the calm corner so kids can see how long they've been breathing. My son watches the sand and it gives him something to focus on besides being furious at his sister.
8" Brass Hourglass - Hearth & Hand™ with Magnolia
Organization for the Compliment Station
I had slips of paper all over the kitchen counter for the first month. Getting organized meant the kids could do it themselves without me hovering, which is the whole point.
Keep all the pens, paper, and stickers in one of these next to the jar. My kids know exactly where everything is now and I stopped finding markers in the couch cushions.
Customer reviews for Sterilite Small Clip Box Storage Box
Stick one of these on the wall near the jar to hang a small bag of pencils. No drilling, no damage, and my landlord will never know about my kindness corner.
(3 pack) Command Small Wire Toggle Hooks
Park this next to the kitchen table as the official compliment station. Top shelf is the jar, middle is supplies, bottom is books. My kids roll it out every Sunday like a little ceremony.
Mainstays 3-Tier Metal Laundry Cart, Arctic White, Rolling
Use this to save the best compliments each month. We slip them into page protectors and flip through them when someone's having a bad day. Instant mood lifter.
Avery, Heavy Duty View Binder, 1 inch, Slant Ring, White
Pair these with the binder to preserve the compliment slips. My daughter's handwriting from six months ago compared to now is a bonus keepsake I wasn't expecting.
Avery Diamond Clear Heavyweight Sheet Protectors
Swap the messy pencil cup for this. Everything clicks shut and my kids can carry it to the table themselves. No more ‘Mom where are the markers’ seventeen times a week.
Crayons Case | Walmart Canada
Toss extra supplies in one of these on a shelf. When the main station runs low, kids restock themselves. Teaching independence AND kindness at the same time. Double win.
Mainstays Collapsible Fabric Cube Storage Bin
Snag this to laminate the really special compliments. My son wrote that his sister is his best friend and I laminated it so fast. It's on the fridge permanently now.
Scotch® Thermal Laminator TL902-C
Printable Templates and Planners for Tracking Progress
Winging it worked for about a month. Then I needed a system so we didn't forget or lose momentum. These keep the routine on track without making it feel like homework.
Use this to schedule compliment writing every Sunday. I put a little star sticker on the day and my kids look for it all week. Anticipation is half the magic.
Blue Sky, Academic Year Planner, 8.5x11
Keep a stack ready for printing prompt sheets or tracking charts. Running out of paper mid-activity is a guaranteed way to lose your kids' attention forever.
HP Copy & Print20, 20lb, 8.5 x 11, 1 Ream (500 Sheets)
Grab this if your printer died three years ago like mine did. I print weekly prompt sheets and reward charts now. The kids think the printer is part of the ritual.
Canon PIXMA TS3722 Wireless All-In-One Inkjet Printer
Use these in the binder to separate compliments by month. Flipping to January and reading what your kids wrote is the best kind of time capsule.
Avery, 8-Tab Dividers, Insertable Big Tabs, 6 Sets of 11111
Pair these with the planner to color-code each kid's writing days. My son highlights his in yellow and his sister uses pink. They take ownership of their color.
Sharpie, Highlighter, Tank-Style, Chisel Tip, Assorted 4 ct
Keep one of these as the master family kindness log. I jot down funny things the kids say during readings and it's turning into the best memory book I own.
Five Star, College Ruled Notebook, 8.5" x 11", Spiral
Toss these in the supply bin. They never need sharpening which means one less reason for my kids to wander away from the table mid-compliment.
BiC Xtra Life Mechanical Pencil, 0.7 mm, #2, 10 Ct (1 Pack)
Use these to mark favorite compliments in the binder. My daughter flags every single one her brother writes. The binder looks like a rainbow porcupine and I love it.
Post-it, Flags Value Pack, Assorted Colors .47" Wide 328
Seasonal Twists to Keep the Jar Fresh All Year
By month four my kids were writing the same thing every week. Adding seasonal themes brought the excitement back and now they actually look forward to what's next.
Swap regular crayons for seasonal colors each quarter. Fall colors in October, pastels in spring. My kids noticed immediately and got excited about writing again.
Crayola, Crayons, 24 Count, Classic Colors for Kids
Toss holiday stickers near the jar so kids can decorate their slips. My son put a turkey sticker on his Thanksgiving compliment and wrote ‘I’m thankful you share your fries.'
Recollections Europe Sticker Book, 12 Pack
Use scraps of wrapping paper as compliment slip backgrounds in December. My daughter cut snowflake shapes and wrote compliments on them for the whole family.
American Greetings Reversible Wrapping Paper Jumbo
Pair compliment reading with seasonal treats. We sprinkle these on cookies while reading December's jar and it's become our favorite holiday tradition by accident.
Customer reviews for Wilton Christmas Edible Sprinkle Mix
Try writing compliments on windows during summer. My kids wrote nice things about each other on the sliding glass door and the neighbors probably think we're weird but who cares.
Crayola 8 count Washable Window Markers
Use this as a backdrop for a fall compliment display. We taped the best ones to the paper and hung it in the hallway. My kids walk past their own kind words every day.
Customer reviews for Pacon Fadeless Art Paper Bulletin
Cut these into seasonal shapes for themed compliment slips. Hearts in February, stars in July. My kids spend more time on shaped slips which means more thoughtful words.
Darice Foam Sheet - 12 x 18 in. - Assorted Bright Color,
Bring these out for birthday month compliments. The birthday kid gets extra sparkly slips and my daughter literally shrieked when she saw her glitter-covered pile.
Crayola 9 count Washable Glitter Glue, Fiery Flecks?
Gifts That Encourage Sibling Kindness Year Round
Once the jar habit stuck, I started finding little gifts that reinforce the same idea. These aren't rewards exactly. They're reminders that being kind to your sibling is just what we do now.
Grab this for the kid who's ready to go deeper than compliment slips. My son started writing about gratitude on his own after using this for a few weeks. No prompting needed.
Big Life Journal
Give this as a milestone gift when the jar hits 100 compliments. My kids earned theirs after three months and immediately made each other thank-you cards with it.
Crayola Inspiration Art Case, 140 Piece Art Set, Ages 3+
Try this for younger kids who want to add stamps to their compliment slips. My 5-year-old stamps a smiley face on every single one and it's honestly the cutest thing.
Melissa & Doug Wooden Stamp Set: Friendship
Swap competitive games for this cooperative one. My kids have to work together to win and it reinforces the same teamwork muscle the jar builds. No losers, no tears.
New Cooperative Board Games
Keep this in the game closet for sibling play dates. It's calm enough that nobody flips the board and sweet enough that it fits the whole kindness vibe.
How to choose games and puzzles by age group
Perfect for the kid who shows love through making things. My daughter made her brother a bracelet and he wore it to school for a week straight. My heart.
Hello Hobby Make Your Own Friendship Bracelets Kit
Use puzzles as a joint activity reward. When both kids write compliments all month, they earn a puzzle night together. Teamwork without them even realizing it.
Buffalo Games Geographic Kids Safari 100-Piece Jigsaw
Keep these around so kids can write each other real cards on birthdays or random Tuesdays. The jar taught them the words and now they use them everywhere.
Hallmark Assorted Blank Notes (Elegant Black and White)
For the Parent Who Needs This to Actually Work
Let's be real. Setting this up is the easy part. Keeping it going when you're exhausted and the kids are screaming requires some backup. These are for you, the tired parent making it happen.
Keep this for yourself. Write down what's working, what's not, and the funny things your kids say during readings. Six months from now you'll read it and realize how far you've all come.
PAPERAGE Lined Journal Notebook, Hard Cover
Pour your coffee and sit down while the kids do their weekly writing. This keeps it hot long enough for you to actually enjoy five minutes of peace. You've earned it.
Produk Baru: Stanley IceFlow Flip Straw Tumbler 30oz
Use this after the kids go to bed. You just spent a whole week managing tiny humans' emotions. Ten minutes of guided breathing is the least you deserve.
Buy a Calm Gift Card: 1-Year & Lifetime Subscription Gifts
Light this after Sunday's family meeting. The eucalyptus and spearmint smell signals to your brain that parenting duties are done for the night. Boundaries, even aromatic ones.
Aromatherapy Stress Relief 3-Wick Candle
Brew a cup while the kids are writing. It tastes like someone is giving you a hug from the inside. Pairs well with the sound of children NOT fighting.
Yogi Honey Lavender Stress Relief
Read this when you need to understand WHY the jar works. The neuroscience behind connection and kindness is fascinating and it'll keep you motivated on the hard days.
Daniel J Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child, 12 Strategies to Nurture Mind
Snag this before you start the jar. It completely changed how I talk to my kids about each other. Half the phrases I use during readings came straight from this book.
Siblings Without Rivalry By Faber, Adele/ Mazlish, Elaine
Track your family's kindness routine in here alongside everything else. Seeing ‘compliment jar’ checked off every Sunday next to groceries and soccer practice feels weirdly satisfying.
Erin Condren Daily Petite Planner Collection