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Barely Functioning Beauty
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items For the person whose “skincare routine” is SPF and a prayer. These are the products that actually work when you have 4 minutes and a toddler on your leg who has zero respect for your schedule.
Best daily sunscreen for people that rarely use make up. Makes skin glow and look sunkissed and I don't wear any foundation or concealer on top. Always get loads of compliments about my glow!
Supergoop! Glowscreen SPF 40 - Tinted Sunscreen & Primer
Weird name, incredible skin. This Korean cult favorite absorbs instantly, never feels greasy, and somehow makes your skin look like you actually slept. So lightweight that is perfect to layer under sunscreen. It’s set for auto delivery so I never run...
COSRX Snail 92 All In One Cream Moisture
The mascara that made me stop trying other mascaras. One coat and your lashes look like you actually tried. Lifts, volumizes, and doesn’t migrate to your under eyes by noon, which for me is the bare minimum requirement. Contact lens wearer here and i...
Lash Idôle Lash Lift Mascara - Lifting & Volumizing - Lancôme
Lip gloss that actually moisturizes instead of just making your lips sticky and sad. The tint is the perfect your-lips-but-better nude that works on everything from school drop off to date night. Throw it in your pocket, apply without a mirror, look ...
Tinted Lip Oil - Fat Oil Lip Drip Lip Gloss | NYX Professional Makeup
Twin mom under eyes meet caffeine. This little pot of magic targets puffiness and dark circles with hyaluronic acid and actual caffeine — because if I can’t drink enough of it, I might as well put it on my face. Takes 30 seconds to tap in and makes y...
Good Molecules Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel 15ml
Shower oil sounds fancy but this is actually the laziest possible way to cleanse — one product for face and body, works for the whole family including sensitive little twin skin. Goes on like oil, rinses clean without that tight dry feeling. You’re a...
Atoderm Shower Oil - Ultra-nourishing for Dry Skin
The one makeup step that makes people think you’re put together even when you’re not. Filled-in brows do more for your face than almost anything else and this ultra-slim tip makes it nearly impossible to mess up. Waterproof and smudge-proof means it ...
Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz - Ultra-Slim Eyebrow Pencil
A highlighter pen that makes your eyes look open even when they absolutely are not. Swipe it in the inner corners, along the lash line, and suddenly you look like someone who slept eight hours. Spoiler: you did not. Ophthalmologist tested and safe fo...
fake awake™ eye highlight - waterline eyeliner - Tarte
Okay, this one is not budget friendly and I’m not going to pretend it is. I bought this for a wedding I was in and I have zero regrets. This is my one luxury: the lipstick I reach for when I actually want to feel like a human being and not just a mom...
Rouge Dior Forever Liquid Lipstick Transfer-Proof Color
The $6 dupe for the Anastasia Brow Wiz that actually holds up. Same ultra-slim tip, same natural hair-like strokes, fraction of the price. I own both and reach for this one on the days I remember we’re on a budget. If you’re not ready to commit to th...
Best Eyebrow Pencil - Instant Lift Brow Pencil | e.l.f. Cosmetics
If the NYX lip gloss is your everyday go-to, this is the one you grab when you want to feel a little more done. Money Mauve gives you just enough color to look intentional without trying too hard. Lightweight, non-sticky, and your lips actually feel ...
Glow Reviver Tinted Lip Oil | e.l.f. Cosmetics
Bronzer that makes you look like you’ve been somewhere warm and well-rested when in reality you’ve been inside a house with two toddlers for three days. All Butta’D Up is the perfect light medium shade; buildable, blendable, and never orange. NYX kee...
Buttermelt Bronzer: Long Wear Powder Bronzer - NYX Cosmetics
The blush that finally made me understand what blush is supposed to feel like. Had Butta is this perfect rosy nude that looks like you just came in from a walk outside; not like you got caught off guard with a makeup brush. Pairs perfectly with the B...
NYX Professional Makeup Buttermelt Powder Blush, Feeling Butta
The one product that lives in my purse permanently. One stick for eyes, lips, and cheeks: swipe it on in the school drop off line and suddenly you look like a person who has it together. Glimmering Guava gives you just enough warmth and glow to pass ...
e.l.f. Monochromatic Multi Stick, Travel-Sized
The drugstore mascara that has no business competing with mascaras three times its price, but here we are. When the Lancôme is for special occasions, this is the one doing the heavy lifting every single morning. Separates every lash, zero clumping, a...
L'Oreal Paris Telescopic Mascara, Separating