Because sometimes the only thing holding me together is caffeine, dry shampoo, and blind optimism.
These are the products that help me fake having my life together (and it weirdly works)
One drop and I suddenly believe I’m the main character again. Smells like good decisions and expensive hair.
OLAPLEX Nº.7 Bonding Hair Oil™ for Soft, Shiny Hair
Straightens the chaos out of both my hair and my life.
Dyson Corrale™ Hair Straightener | Buy Now Pay Later
Smells like delusion, confidence, and a girl with a five-step plan.
Peony & Blush Suede Cologne
Five-minute facial that hides my 3 a.m. thoughts
Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask
Mood control via playlist therapy.
SoundLink® Mini Bluetooth® speaker II - Bose® Product Support
Liquid motivation on demand.
Vertuo Coffee Pods & Coffee Capsules
Compact confidence boost for the bag.
Glossier You Solid
fake confidence, fake tan — both develop overnight
Medium Self-Tanning Face Drops
the ‘I’ve had eight hours of sleep’ glow stick
Nudies Blush Stick | Picante
smells like a holiday i didn’t take
Buy OUAI St. Barts Scalp & Body Scrub
tiny luxury. big delusion that i own a brownstone
Sunday Cashmere Blend Socks
holds snacks, trauma, and everything else i carry around.
The Metro Tote Deluxe
instant radiance, fake composure
Sunday Riley CEO Glow Vitamin C + Turmeric Oil
Brightens, tightens, and hides the 4-hour sleep lifestyle. I keep it in the fridge for extra “I have my life together” effect
Dr. Dennis Gross C + Collagen Brighten + Firm Eye Cream 15ml
When I need a confidence boost in 30 seconds. Slight burn, major payoff
Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme Plumping Gloss
Legit saves my hair after gym or “emotional cardio.” Smells expensive
Bumble and bumble Prêt-à-Powder Post Workout Dry Shampoo Mist
I don’t even know what’s in this but it instantly makes me look awake. Non-negotiable
TULA Skincare Rose Glow & Get It Cooling & Brightening Eye Balm
