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UNHINGED BUT EMPLOYED
19
items A little workplace humor for those of us holding it together… professionally. 😏
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Another day, another meeting that absolutely could have been handled in one sentence. Still employed. Barely emotionally available.
I Survived Another Meeting...
Office morale is somewhere under the printer…probably next to the paper jam and my will to participate.
Office Morale
Prioritizing My Peace: Some people call it ignoring. I call it protecting my remaining ounce of peace. Not every message needs an immediate response. Not every problem is my emergency. Not every opinion requires my participation. I'm not ignoring you. I'm prioritizing my peace.
Prioritizing My Peace
When "on time" apparently means 15 minutes early 😒☕ Apparently arriving at 8:00 isn't enough. You should already have: ✔️ Coffee ✔️ Bathroom break ✔️ Small talk ✔️ Your life together Meanwhile, I'm still trying to remember why I walked into the buil...
Be On Time.
The “customer” isn't always right. There I said it. 😅 Good customer service doesn't mean saying "yes" to everything. Sometimes the best service is respectfully explaining the facts, setting clear expectations, and standing your ground professionally. You can disagree without being disrespectful. Confide...
The "Customer" Is Not Always Right..
Somewhere along the way, people started acting like saying no means you're not a team player. It doesn't. It means you know your workload, your priorities, and your limits. Burnout isn't a badge of honor. Protect your peace. The work will always be t...
Saying No To Additional Responsibilities...
Your Lunch Break Is a Meeting with Your Sanity 😂 Your calendar says "Lunch." Your coworkers hear "Available." Protect your lunch break like it's the most important meeting of the day... because honestly, it might be. 😅
Protect Your Lunch Break
Sure…everyone is replaceable. Whether the replacement can actually do the job is a different conversation.
When They Say "Everyone Is Replaceable..."😂
“Quick question…” We all know it's never actually quick. 😂💬
The Most Dangerous Words at Work...
Checked in ✔️ Mentally checked out ✔️ Still somehow getting the job done. 😅
When You're At Work... Sort Of 😂
Putting out fires all day should NOT be your job unless you're a firefighter. Yet here we are.
When Your Job Becomes Firefighting 🔥
Some workplace problems require teamwork, initiative and creative problem-solving. Others require looking at your paycheck and making an informed decision not to get involved. 😂 A relatable office humor quote for anyone who has ever thought, “Yeah… ...
This is Above My Paygrade...
When the office dress code says business casual but the thermostat says prepare for winter. 😂 A little workplace humor for everyone who's ever kept an emergency sweater at their desk just to survive the workday.
Welcome to the Office...
Every office has that copier that works perfectly all day…until you desperately need something two minutes before a meeting. Then suddenly it needs paper, toner, attention, emotional support and possibly an exorcism.
The Copier Can Smell Your Fear...
Ever work for someone who delegates a task and then proceeds to supervise every single second of it? “Delegation without trust is just delayed control.” A painfully relatable workplace quote for anyone who has survived a micromanager.
Delegation Without Trust Is Just Delayed Control
My Most-Used Office Supply 😂 When your resignation fantasy has become part of your standard office equipment. ☕😂 No, I’m not quitting today. But in my head? The exit interview was magnificent.
My Favorite Office Supply...
𝗥𝗲́𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲́ 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘃𝘀. 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 😂 Résumé: Successfully managed multiple priorities. Reality: Everything was on fire and I just kept going. 🔥😂 Somehow “professional chaos coordinator” never makes it into the job description.
Multiple Priorities
Some coworkers are essential to the operation. Others are the update you keep clicking “Remind Me Later” on. 😂 Welcome to Unhinged But Employed.
I'm not saying...
Your Resume Had ONE Job 😂 “Excellent attention to detail.” Meanwhile, three typos are sitting there like 👀 Please. Help me help you. 😂
If You Can't Spell Things Correctly...