Each product represents a moment where I mistook consumerism for enlightenment, and honestly, it kinda worked.
Sections
4
Trinkets of Questionable Necessity
Hair Care That Understood the Assignment
Enchanted Face Paint for the Emotionally Unstable
Skin Care That Understands the Assignment
Trinkets of Questionable Necessity
Accessories that whisper ‘she’s mysterious’ when in reality I just overslept. Adorn yourself accordingly.
Because who doesn’t like bats?!
Bat Design Sunglasses, 1 Count Halloween Theme Sunglasses, Party Decoration Supplies for Men Women Festive Party Supplies - TikTok Shop
These make me look like I have both enemies and an empire. Instant main character energy.
Creative Cute Large Size Cat Eye Frame Glasses, Trendy Outdoor Beach Party Glasses, Fashion Accessories for Women & Men - TikTok Shop
I like a non chunky hair clip💅🏼
Solid Color Hair Clip, 4pcs Oval Acrylic Hair Clips Set for Women, No Trace Flat Large Hair Clip, Elegant Minimalist Frosted Solid Color Hair Clips for Daily Wear,ldeal Gifts for Her - TikTok Shop
I wear this like a personality shield. Keeps the weird energy out and my own chaos contained… mostly.
Natural Obsidian Stone Pendant Necklace Black Gemstone Wrap Necklace Adjustable Rope for Daily Use - TikTok Shop
Hair Care That Understood the Assignment
This isn’t shampoo and conditioner. It’s holy water for my scalp. The demons of dandruff have been cast out.
Jupiter Anti Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner
Luxury in a bottle. My hair’s moral compass has been restored.
Jupiter Restoring Scalp Serum - Anti-Dandruff
Feels like a forgiveness potion for my split ends. The shine? Ethereal. The scent? Confidence in a tube.
Bed Head by TIGI After Party Super Smoothing Cream for frizzy or dull hair, 3.38 fl oz
This spray has seen things. Keeps my hair smooth even when my life isn’t. A true ride-or-die drugstore find.
Garnier Flat Iron Perfector Straightening Hair Mist, 6 fl oz
My curls met this product and immediately stopped rebelling. It’s giving divine alignment and humidity who?
Dream Coat For Curly Hair - TikTok Shop
Enchanted Face Paint for the Emotionally Unstable
Alchemy disguised as a morning routine. I mix shimmer and spite until I look unstoppable.
Dewy enough to convince people I’m at peace. Smooth enough to hide that I’m not.
Maybelline Fit Me Dewy and Smooth Liquid Foundation, SPF 18, 105 Fair Ivory, 1 fl oz
Blurs pores, bad decisions, and evidence of stress. I carry it like a holy relic.
Maybelline Fit Me Matte Poreless Pressed Face Powder Makeup, Porcelain , 0.29 oz
My emotional support gloss. Hydrates, shines, and distracts from everything I’m ignoring.