🛒✨ Your unofficial Trader Joe’s Heaux Handbook ✨🛒
For the heauxs who came for “just one thing” and left $87 poorer. 💅🏽
🍝 Easy meals • 🍷 TJ’s finds • 🧀 Snacks • 👀 Must-haves
If it’s delicious, unnecessary, slightly unhinged, or somehow all th...
Sections
7
Snacks
Meals
Desserts
Drinks
Breakfast
Dips
Snacks
Buttery, salty, crunchy… basically impossible to stop eating once the bag is open. This is the kind of popcorn you buy for “a little snack” and suddenly the whole bag is mysteriously gone. 😂🍿 10/10 couch snack.
Trader Joe's Movie Theater Popcorn Review
Salty, crispy, and just the right amount of crunchy! These are giving “I’ll just have a few” and then somehow the bag is gone. 😂 Perfect for snacking, dipping, or adding a little crunch to your meal. A Trader Joe’s staple for the snack rotation.
Plantain Chips
Light, crispy, savory, and SO good with mango chutney. The combo of that crunchy, slightly spiced papadum with the sweet tangy chutney? Chef’s kiss. 🤌🏽
Trader Joe's Papadum Crisps
Okay… these have a VERY specific flavor. 😂 They’re tangy, slightly sweet, and definitely give ketchup—but in chip form. The taste is peculiar at first, but if you’re a tangy-flavor heaux, you might be obsessed. 👀
Ketchup Flavored Lattice Potato Chips
I LOVE a good pretzel, and these are definitely a top contender! 🥨🤌🏽 The salty, crunchy pretzel paired with that sweet cookies & crème coating is the perfect sweet-and-salty combo.
Trader Joes Cookies & Creme Pretzel Slims
Tangy, crunchy, and giving pickle girl energy. 🥒💅🏽 These are SO good on their own, but throw them next to a tuna salad sandwich and suddenly you’re a five-star chef. The perfect salty, tangy crunch!
Chips in a Pickle
Meals
Want Chinese takeout without leaving the house? 👀 This is SO good with fried rice and makes an easy, delicious at-home takeout-style meal. Sweet, savory, saucy, and perfect for when you’re craving Chinese but your wallet says, “we have food at home....
Trader Joe's BBQ Teriyaki Chicken
SOOOO GOOD with a good dumpling sauce! 🤌🏽🥟 Crispy on the outside, flavorful on the inside, and absolutely dangerous once you start dipping. These are the kind of potstickers that will have everybody fighting over the last one. 😂
Chicken Gyoza Potstickers
Mac & cheese is my FAVORITE food, so I had high expectations—and my first time trying this one, I was pleasantly surprised! 😮💨🧀🎃 It’s creamy, cheesy, and has that little hint of butternut squash that just WORKS.
Yes, it’s seasonal… but trus...
Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese
Bought this on a random day for lunch and somehow had the best lunch I’d eaten all week! 😮💨🔥 The roti is perfect for dipping into that rich, flavorful Thai red curry.
BUT—she’s spicy! 🌶️🌶️🌶️ So beware if you’re not a heat girlie. 😂
Trader Joe's Roti with Thai Red Curry
Desserts
SOOOOO GOOD!!! 😩🍪 Three different types of chocolate chips = three times the reason to have absolutely ZERO self-control. They’re soft, chocolatey, and dangerously easy to keep eating.
You WILL eat the entire container. Consider yourself warned. �...
Triple Chip Crispy Cookies
Tiny little cones, BIG satisfaction! 🍦✨ They’re sweet, creamy, and the perfect little treat when you want something indulgent without going completely overboard. Basically guilt-free-ish because they’re mini… and that’s what we’re telling ourselves....
Vanilla Hold the Cone! Mini Ice Cream Cones
Okayyy, these were way better than expected! 👀🍪 Little bites of sweet, doughy goodness that are dangerously easy to snack on. Definitely one of those TJ finds that makes you go, “Wait… why are these actually SO good?!”
Cookie Dough Ice Cream Bites
This ice cream has A LOT going on. 😂 Cookies, chocolate, peanut butter, and all kinds of delicious chaos—but somehow, it WORKS. Every bite is a little different, which makes it dangerously fun to eat.
All Mixed Up Ice Cream
My OG favorite!!! 🥹🍫 Rich, gooey, and SOOO chocolatey. Warm one up and add a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top and you’ve officially entered dessert heaven. 🤌🏽
Trader Joe's Chocolate Lava Cakes
Drinks
A great no-sugar drink when you want something refreshing without all the sweetness. 🫐🍵 The blueberry + pomegranate flavor gives it such a light, fruity summer taste—perfect over ice on a hot day. ☀️
Green Tea Blueberry & Pomegranate Unsweetened Beverage
This is my go-to when I feel a cold coming on! 🍍💛 Cold-pressed, all-natural, and packed with that fresh pineapple flavor. And honestly, you don’t have to be sick to enjoy it—this is a refreshing, delicious drink anytime.
Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Pineapple Juice
Breakfast
MOVE OVER, McDONALD’S. 😤🥔 These hashbrowns are crispy, golden, salty, and honestly give the fast-food girlies a run for their money. Throw them in the air fryer and thank me later
Trader Joe’s Hashbrowns
These are SO good and an easy breakfast staple! 👏🏽 Made with simple, clean ingredients and perfect for throwing into a breakfast sandwich with eggs and cheese. Quick, easy, and actually tastes good
If you love a good McGriddle, BABY—these are for you. 😮💨🥞 They’re soft, slightly sweet, and make the perfect at-home version of your favorite fast-food breakfast. Add some chicken sausage and eggs between them and BOOM—McGriddle at home. 👏🏽
Trader Joe's Dutch Griddle Cakes
These are a staple for my overnight oats! 🥣🤎 I love the added texture from the ancient grains and seeds, and they make such a good base for a filling, easy breakfast.
Mix them up the night before, throw them in the fridge, and breakfast is DONE. �...
Gluten Free Organic Rolled Oats with Ancient Grains & Seeds
The Starbucks dupe I didn’t know I needed! 😮💨🔥 These are SO good in the air fryer—crispy, cheesy, and delicious without the Starbucks price tag. 💸
Perfect for a quick breakfast or an easy lunch when you need something fast but still satisfying.
Uncured Ham & Swiss Cheese Pockets
Dips
As a certified queso lover, I don’t say this lightly—this is one of my FAVORITES. 😮💨🧀 Creamy, cheesy, and perfect for dipping chips, drizzling over tacos, or honestly eating straight out the container. 😂
White Queso Dip
Simple ingredients + perfectly portioned two little guac cups = YES PLEASE. 🥑👏🏽 I love these because you can get your guac fix without opening a whole container and letting half of it go to waste. Perfect for lunch, snacks, tacos, or whenever the ...
Trader Joe's Avocado's Number Guacamole to Go Review ...
If you’re a Crunchy Chili Onion stan, you NEED to try this. 🌶️🔥 This hummus packs a serious punch with that spicy, savory chili onion flavor and crunchy bits throughout. SO good with veggies, pita chips, or honestly scooped right onto a salad for a...
Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Onion Hummus
One of my absolute favorites! 🧄🤌🏽 My favorite way to use it is as a pizza sauce on a Trader Joe’s flatbread. Add your favorite cheese, meat, veggies, whatever you’re feeling—and BABY, you have a winner. 🍕🔥
Creamy, garlicky, flavorful, and so ve...
Trader Joe's Garlic Spread Dip
Coffee
A MUST for my vanilla latte girlies! ☕️🤎 I love adding a little of this to my lattes—it gives them that rich, sweet vanilla bean flavor that makes your coffee taste extra special
Bourbon Vanilla Bean Paste
My everyday coffee creamer! 🤎☕️ I love that it has simple ingredients and isn’t overly sweet, so it makes my coffee creamy without overpowering the flavor.
A true coffee fridge staple in my house. If you like a smooth, subtle creamer without all th...