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Books That Changed How I Understand Relationships
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items The books I actually recommend if you are trying to understand your attachment style, communication patterns, or why you keep repeating the same relationship dynamics. No fluff, no self-help cliches. Most of these were written by therapists and resea...
This was the book that made everything click for me. It breaks down the three attachment styles, anxious, avoidant, and secure, and explains how they play out in actual relationships. Once you understand your style, you start seeing your patterns eve...
Amir Levine Attachement -the New science of Adult ...
Less about attachment theory and more about what to do with it. Sue Johnson created emotionally focused therapy and this book basically gives you the conversations couples need to have but never know how to start. I think it is useful even if you are not in a relationship, because it shows you what secure connect...
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for Love
If you grew up feeling like your emotional needs were too much, or like you had to take care of your parent's feelings before your own, this book will feel uncomfortably familiar. Gibson is clear and specific without being preachy. It helped me under...
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Nedra Tawwab is a therapist who writes like a normal person, which is rare. This is the most practical book on the list. She breaks down what boundaries actually are, how to set them without a dramatic conversation, and why people who were not taught...
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by
Nedra Tawwab
Blunt title, blunt book. Lundy Bancroft spent years working with abusive men and this book explains the thinking patterns behind controlling behavior in relationships. It is not just for people in obvious situations. A lot of people read it and recog...
[PDF] Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft
This is the science behind why emotional experiences get stored in the body and how they affect everything from relationships to physical health. It is not a light read, but it is worth it. If you have ever wondered why you freeze, overreact, or shut...
The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
Written for people in non-traditional relationship structures but genuinely useful for anyone. Fern applies attachment theory to situations where the standard relationship advice simply does not apply. Even if monogamy is your thing, the sections on ...
The Polysecure Workbook By Jessica Fern
This one is about emotional neglect, which is harder to identify than other childhood experiences because it is about what did not happen rather than what did. Webb explains how growing up in a household where emotions were not acknowledged or valida...
Running On Empty book by Jonice Webb