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The first weeks: what I'd hand a friend
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items Nobody hands you a list in the first week. This is the one I'd bring over, along with soup. A book that explains why you feel crazy, a folder for the papers you'll be asked for, a notebook for the 2 am thoughts, and a few small things that make sleep...
The book that explains why the first months feel like losing your mind. Written decades ago and still the one people pass around. Read the chapter on the two-year timeline first.
Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford
The other classic. Nineteen rebuilding blocks, from denial to freedom, so you can see where you are and what comes next. Good on the nights you feel stuck.
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher
For the 2 am script and the running list for your lawyer. Numbered pages and a table of contents, so you can find the thing you wrote three weeks ago.
Leuchtturm1917 Medium (A5) Notebook
Sleep is the first thing to go. A mask that blocks everything helps more than it should, especially if you're now sleeping somewhere new.
Manta Sleep Mask
Not a cure for anything. It's just easier to fall asleep under it, and the first weeks are mostly about getting to morning.
Weighted Blanket 15lb
You'll forget to drink water. A big one that stays cold on the desk helps. Small, boring, works.
YETI Rambler 20 oz Tumbler
Chapter 2 of the free guide is a list of documents to photograph. This is where the paper copies go. One folder, labelled tabs, and you stop hunting for the mortgage statement at 11 pm.
Expanding File Folder
Free. Turns the papers in that folder into PDFs your lawyer can actually use. Scan once, name the file with the date, done.
Adobe Scan
For the stretch when you keep replaying everything at 2 am. It's very hands-on: journaling prompts, boundaries around contact, and small daily steps that add up. Written for any breakup, and it works just as well for a divorce.
Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott
A free meditation app with a huge library, including short sleep tracks and guided meditations for heartbreak and anxiety. Put on a ten-minute track when your brain won't switch off. You don't need the paid version for any of this.
Insight Timer
My free mini-guide for the first weeks after a split. What to gather, who to call, and what can wait. Free, no catch, just your email so I can send it.
The First Year File (free guide for the first weeks of divorce)
