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Extraordinary Books on Healing (that saved me thousands on therapy)
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items Only a few years ago, if anyone asked me why I was so messed up, I wouldn't be able to tell them. Now, I have the language and knowledge I need in order to tell you why I'm so messed up. :) Many of these books have opened my eyes to the forces in my life that shape my thoughts and behaviors. Many of these have given me the tools & frameworks with which I am now healing myself and seeing my behaviors and negative thoughts as changeable. The latter books on the list have helped me enter a world of spirituality, calmness and peace. Your life experiences and particular flavor of trauma may differ from mine, but these are books that I would recommend to anyone looking to heal from trauma and discover your true self so as to move onwards and upwards in a healthy way. For yourself ... AND If you are an avid reader, might I suggest joining your local library so you don't have to spend your money on them up front. I like downloading audiobooks for free from the library, and eventually buying the few that really stand out. I've link...Bookshop.org if you are interested in buying a copy. This is an online storefront where a portion of the sale (30% of the cover price) is directed to the participating brick & mortar bookshop chosen by the buyer, or split among all participating stores if no...
This book sent shivers down my spine. Many times. The author knew my mother, apparently. Her words hit on so much trauma over and over again, I felt like a punching bag. But in the end, I felt much lighter knowing that an many people grow up with this kind of parent… enough people that someone wrote a book about it!! And I didn't feel so alone. I can't even express how much this book changed my perspective on my childhood, and reading this book will absolutely help ANYONE. Help to heal your own trauma, help you counsel someone else through their life difficulties, or help recognize unhealthy parenting practices that you may be doing yourself! This book has a very special place in my heart.
The Emotionally Absent Mother; Jasmine Lee Cori
My second recommendation of a wonderful book to read if the people who raised you and were supposed to love you… just didn't. I always felt so alone and vulnerable as a child and reading this book made me think, OMG THAT'S WHY!! It's nice to know why I felt so bad about myself all the time so I could to change for the better now. Like diagnosing some disease and choosing the correct treatment. Painful read… but well worth the tears.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents; Lindsay C. Gibson
‘How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships.’ This book has us look deeply at our attachment style to, kind of, ‘figure out’ how we behave and feel inside of a relationship. How we naturally communicate, how we love and want to be loved in return. This book is literally handing you a piece of yo... Identifying your (and your partner's!) attachment style can actually level up the communication and love in your relationship! Actually, any relationship, not just the intimate ones.
The Power of Attachment; Diane Poole Heller
‘Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.’ I've been listening to Doctor Ramani for a very long time on YouTube. She really helped me to see my mother in a new light, fully explaining narcissism and narcissistic behavior. She knows a lot about this, as well as setting boundaries, gaslighting, toxic relationships, anxiety, etc. Lots of hot-button topics today! I haven't read this book, but I would recommend it to anyone because I know this lady (and her message) so well by now, I could have written this myself!
It's Not You; Dr. Ramani
This is a lovely book about dealing with loss and grief. I find that it spoke to loss in any realm, and the advice could be applied to loss of a loved one, a job, a friendship… really loss of any kind. There is occasionally mention of religion, but not to a detriment of the overarching message.
A Time to Mourn and A Time to Dance; Lee Anne Morgan
‘How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle.’ I read this book a long time ago, and it made quite the impression on me. I don't remember all the fine points, but this book really made me ‘zoom out’ on my life. I saw myself not just as a solitary person struggling through life, but as one point on the continuum of a long line of ancestors. This book helped me to see familial trauma as patterns, and nudged me to re-label myself as the ‘cycle-breaker’ in my f... Serious empowerment. Seriously.
It Didn't Start with You; Mark Wolynn
‘A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul.’ This is the subtitle, and it is quite the perfect description for what this book feels like. Just as you would decorate your home for a comfortable day-to-day, this book is like preparing your mind and body to house your precious soul for this journe... I felt encouraged to take responsibility for my own happiness, and this book gives
Welcome Home; Najwa Zebian
You may think this is a weird addition to this list… but hear me out… One (of the many) paths I took through grief was the path of self-discovery. I leaned heavily into painting again, and I read (or- rather- worked through) this book as a way to nudge my brain over to creative openness and away from the black hole of grief and darkness. You could say that I ‘distracted’ myself from the grief I... I would say that this book opened me up spiritually through my painting so I could sit with the grief by my side instead of it suffocating me completely. I really appreciate what this book did for me. And I think anyone can benefit from it, as creativitiy is the best part of being human.
The Artist's Way; Julia Cameron
This book is a way of re-framing how you see and react to other people's behavior. Reading this book, I could literally feel my need to control other people's behavior slipping away. Other people's behavior slowly became a ‘them thing’ instead of a reflection of my shortcomings. ‘Let Them’ is a mantra, words I repeat on a daily basis. So simple and meaningful… that's why people are getting this tattooed on their bodies! Seriously.. it's a thing!
The Let Them Theory; Mel Robbins
Ask any wellness guru, and two tools everyone will agree will benefit our well being is journaling and some kind of meditation practice. This book offers a practical approach to meditation and explains how it can help to reduce stress and anxiety. The author is a man, and he is writing to men, but I think the ladies can benefit from hearing from the ‘other side’ haha. There's nothing stopping us from learning more about the pressures that men deals with, especially when we are surrounded by men we love who could benefit from a little more compassion and understanding! Aside from that, meditation is for everyone right?
10% Happier; Dan Harris
When I have a chance to just read some meaningful short stories from a person who is really smart and thoughtful, I do my best to take the time. These essays are thought-provoking and spirited. They encourage me to open my mind to new ideas and to reflect on my own thoughts and behaviors. BTW, there is no link here, as it seems to be out of print. If you ever come across this at your library or a bookstore, pick it up!! seriously!
101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think; Brianna Wiest
The Caption of this book says it better than I can; ‘Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day.’ I started listening to Jay Shetty's podcast before I knew about this book. I fell in love with his outlook on life, then I read it. Jay has a unique and beautiful perspective on life, and I love how he approaches life's problems in ways I wouldn't have thought of. A lovely read!
Think Like a Monk; Jay Shetty
My healing journey, lately, has completely transformed into a welcoming of spirituality into my life. I am not religious, but I definitely seek meaning and purpose. Listening to people's stories of Near Death Experiences (NDEs) is how it all began. This is a great book to read just to get a feel for what these NDEs are all about. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? What happens after life? I would encourage anyone to learn about NDEs, no matter their ethnicity, religion, etc. If only for a communal human perspective on purpose, or just to listen to other humans talk about their life (and death) experiences :)
Life After Life; Raymond A. Moody
‘The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life.’ This book helped me to look at my daily life a little differently, and to find joy in all the little things. How all those little things add up to purpose, meaning and joy. The teachings of this Japanese philosophy are actually more about doing what you love, what you’re good at, what you can get paid for, and what the world needs. How those things overlap with each other to give your life meaning. This
Ikigai; Hector Garcia & Francesc Miralles
'Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.' This author investigates how trauma impacts our lives both psychologically and physically. This book was amazingly insightful and life changing for me. Strangely enough, my biggest take-away was a more compassionate and loving attitude towards my own body. This helped me open up a little in my sex life. I don't know if that was the author's intention, but thank you! :)
The Body Keeps the Score; Bessel Van Der Kolk