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Untangled: Books That Healed the Wounded Parts of Me.

17 items

Destiny Bokka

🤍 These aren’t just books I’ve read. Some of them met me in the darkest, most wounded places of my life. Books about healing the parts of you that learned to survive instead of live. About understanding that what happened to you is not who you are...

Map

Sections

Untangled from YES

Untangled from silence

Untangled From Self-Preservation

Untangled from food

Untangled from Poverty Mentality

Raising them untangled

Untangled from YES

I used to think love meant saying yes to everything. These are the books that taught me boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re actually part of loving people well, including myself.

I didn’t know where I ended and everyone else began. I was so enmeshed I couldn’t tell the difference between guilt I actually needed to feel and guilt that wasn’t even mine to carry. This book was the first thing that helped me untangle the two — an...

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition

I didn’t grow up seeing healthy boundaries modeled, so I had no idea how to teach them to my own kids. I just knew I didn’t want to raise them the way I was raised — with no room to say no, no sense of where they ended and everyone else began. This w...

Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow ...

This one taught me discernment — how to actually pay attention to who I let close and who I keep some distance from. It changed how I look at relationships, not to be guarded for no reason, but to actually know who’s safe to open my heart to

Safe People: How to Find Good Relationships

Untangled from silence

This one’s heavy, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not. These are the books that walked with me through some of the hardest healing I’ve ever done.

I didn’t want to do this workbook. I didn’t want to write down the things I wished I could just erase and never think about again. But avoiding it hadn’t healed anything — it had just buried it deeper. So I picked up the pen anyway, and that’s where ...

Healing the Wounded Heart Workbook

What happened to me was child-on-child abuse, and for a long time I didn’t know if I was even allowed to call it that. I thought abuse had to look a certain way to count — like it needed an adult, like the age gap was what made it real. This book hel...

The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims

I knew what happened to me was wrong. I just didn’t have the words to explain what type of abuse it actually was, and without the words, I couldn’t validate it — not even to myself. I kept minimizing it because I didn’t know what to call it, and if I...

The Wounded Heart Workbook: A Companion

Untangled From Self-Preservation

I got really good at numbing out and pushing through. These are the books that taught me how to actually feel again instead of just surviving.

I didn’t know I had a choice. I thought if a thought showed up in my head, that meant it was true, so I just believed it — over and over, for years. This book was the first thing that showed me the war wasn’t happening around me, it was happening in ...

Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle

I always thought healing just meant thinking about things differently — like if my mind understood it, my body would just follow along. This book showed me that wasn’t true. My body had been holding onto things my mind had already tried to move past,...

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind & Body

There were seasons where the panic attacks were so bad I didn’t know if I could function. My mind and my body would just take over, and I felt like I had zero control over any of it. This book didn’t make the anxiety disappear overnight, but it start...

Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety: Woman of Faith

Shame convinced me for years that if people really saw me — the real me, not the version I’d carefully edited — they’d think less of me. So I hid. I managed how I came across, I kept the struggles quiet, I stayed in that exhausting cycle of trying to...

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)

Untangled from food

I fought with food and my body for over 10 years. These books gave me the aha moments that started untangling me from that fight.

After 10+ years of fighting anorexia, I didn’t need another book that just explained what was wrong with me. I already knew what was wrong. I needed something that would actually walk me through getting free, one step at a time, instead of leaving me...

Conquering Eating Disorders: McGee, Robert S

The book told me I could trust my body again. The workbook is where I actually had to practice it. It wasn’t enough to agree with the idea — I had to sit down and work through what my body was actually telling me, one exercise at a time, instead of o...

The Intuitive Eating Workbook: Ten Principles

I could quote the facts about eating disorders in my sleep by that point. Ten-plus years in, I knew all the information. What I couldn’t do was see myself clearly, or name what was actually happening underneath the rules and the control. This book di...

8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder

Untangled from Poverty Mentality

I grew up watching money be a source of stress and fear, not stewardship. These are the books that helped me untangle what I believed about money, work, and provision — and start building something different for my own family.

I know what it’s like to not have a home. I grew up watching money be a source of fear instead of something we stewarded well, and that fear followed me into adulthood — I just repeated the same patterns because it was all I’d ever known. This book w...

Financial Peace Revisited: New Chapters

Raising them untangled

I don’t want to hand my kids the same tangled patterns I had to spend years untangling. These are the books helping me raise them different — rooted in Jesus, not in the stuff I’m still working through.

I don’t want to raise my kids from the same broken places I had to untangle myself from. For a long time I thought I just had to survive motherhood — get through the hard parts, keep them fed and safe, and hope I didn’t pass down what I was still wor...

The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ

Untangled together

Unbecoming everything our childhoods made us. Becoming together. Marriage has meant unlearning a lot of what I brought into it before I even met him. These are the books that have helped us do that untangling side by side.

I think I’d spent my whole life believing that if someone really knew me — all of me — they’d leave. This book showed me a love that stays anyway. Not because I earned it, but because it never needed me to be anything other than known. Something in m...

Redeeming Love (2022)

This one’s for anyone working through the pieces of a relationship that didn’t turn out how they hoped — a guided journal to help you process it instead of just carrying it around. If you’re in that untangling season, this is a gentle way to get it o...

It Wasn't Love: Guided Journal to Trust Yourself