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The Dad’s Subtle As A Sledgehammer Father’s Day Wishlist
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items Listen up, my beloved offspring. Every year, you get me a card with a cartoon lawnmower and a pair of socks that disappear into the dryer's "Shadow Dimension" by Tuesday. This year, I’ve done the heavy lifting for you. I’ve compiled a list of things ...
Sections
3
The I Found This Under My Car Seat Tier
The I Guess I Can Skip One Utility Bill Tier
The Dad Is Clearly The King Tier
The I Found This Under My Car Seat Tier
These are for when your allowance is looking thin, but your desire to be the favorite child is high.
Why I need it: Because I spend 40% of every DIY project crawling on the garage floor looking for the one screw that "escaped." Why you should buy it if you love me: My knees aren't what they used to be, and watching me struggle to stand up is a trage...
Magnetic Wristband - Amazon.com
Why I need it: A man’s caffeine intake should always be overseen by a powerful, 50-year-old infant. Why you should buy it if you love me: It’s the only way to ensure I’m as calm as a Jedi when you ask for "just twenty bucks" for the mall.
Grogu Mug - Amazon.com
Why I need it: The old analog one is about as accurate as a weather forecast in a hurricane. Why you should buy it if you love me: Safety first! Also, I’ll stop lecturing you about "rolling resistance" every time we go to the grocery store.
Digital Tire Pressure Gauge - Amazon.com
Why I need it: Mine is currently missing its "hook" and also its dignity. Why you should buy it if you love me: If I can’t measure twice, I’m going to cut once and your bookshelf is going to look like a Dr. Seuss drawing.
Bullet Handyman Locking 10 ft Tape Measure - PCNA
Why I need it: I’m tired of playing "find the metal wire" in my steak. Why you should buy it if you love me: I’d like to survive long enough to see you graduate, and wire-free burgers are a great start.
Bristle Free Grill Brush and Scraper Safe BBQ
The I Guess I Can Skip One Utility Bill Tier
Now we’re talking. This says, "I appreciate you, Dad, and I also want you to stop complaining about your hobbies
Why I need it: My current set doesn't have that one tiny star-shaped bit needed to fix your "broken" electronics. Why you should buy it if you love me: You won’t have to buy a new phone just because the charging port has a crumb in it.
Mako Driver Kit - 64 Precision Bits - Amazon.com
Why I need it: Every Dad-Commander needs a place to plot his next raid (or just the Saturday grocery list). Why you should buy it if you love me: It makes my to do lists look like ancient decrees. It’s hard to ignore a decree.
Viking Leather Journal - Etsy
Why I need it: To clean those tiny, greasy mechanical parts that I usually end up scrubbing with a toothbrush in the kitchen sink (sorry, Mom). Why you should buy it if you love me: I will stop ruining the kitchen sponges, and the house will smell 5%...
Ultrasonic Parts Cleaner - Amazon.com
Why I need it: I’m aiming for Rugged Mountain King, but currently, I’m hitting Hedgehog in a Windstorm. Why you should buy it if you love me: My hugs will be significantly less scratchy. It’s a gift for both of us.
Beard Growth Kit | Beard Care Kit | Mad Viking
Why I need it: I have ideas, people! Big, plastic, slightly-useless-but-cool ideas! Why you should buy it if you love me: I’ll stop printing everything in Neon Pink just because it was the only roll left on the shelf.
Filaments Bundles
The Dad Is Clearly The King Tier
This is for the children who want to be mentioned first in the will. Go big or go home.
Why I need it: To record my motorcycle rides so I can prove that the guy in the SUV actually did cut me off. Why you should buy it if you love me: You get to watch high-def footage of me talking to myself while I ride. Cinematic gold.
DJI Osmo Action Standard Combo on Amazon
Why I need it: The detail on my current prints is okay, but I want to print things so smooth they look like they were made by elves. Why you should buy it if you love me: I’ll finally be able to print those hyper-detailed Grogu statues you keep borro...
Anycubic Photon Mono 4: Affordable Resin 3D Printing for Everyone
Why I need it: Using "calibrated elbow clicks" to tighten bolts on my bike is becoming a risky lifestyle choice. Why you should buy it if you love me: It ensures the wheels stay on the motorcycle. I think we can all agree that’s a positive outcome.
1/2" Drive Industrial Torque Wrench 50-250 ft-lbs. - Capri Tools
Why I need it: My current chair has the lumbar support of a wet noodle. My back is screaming. Why you should buy it if you love me: I’ll be much more comfortable while I’m managing the alliance tech upgrades at 2:00 AM.
Office Chairs With Lumbar Support - Amazon.com
Why I need it: To achieve the perfect crust to cheese ratio that a standard oven simply mocks. Why you should buy it if you love me: You get to eat the pizza. This is barely a gift for me, it’s an investment in your own stomachs.
Ooni Karu 12 Multi-Fuel Pizza Oven - 1st Generation