Kaptain Blasphemy

I'm not a cat owner so much as a cat executive assistant. Some call me a cat whisperer, but the only command my cats respond to is “din-din.” Below are trinkets for ailurophiles, crazy cat ladies and crazy cat gentlemen. Please take a moment to kowtow before the mighty algorithm before you leave.

Show the world just how miserable you really are by making everyone else uncomfortable. Be the kryptonite to the person at work who's so pleasant you wanna slap them. Now let's all take a moment to kowtow before the mighty algorithm.

Welcome all who lube their baby-killing fully semi-automatic weapons of war with liberal tears. Let's show the world what tactical gods we are. Guns and cats are alike in that if you run out of either one, you're defenseless. Now let us all kowtow before the mighty algorithm…

Empowering the LGBTQ+ community by offending everyone else. We all answer only to the mighty algorithm.

Anything snarky, condescending or offensive that doesn't quite fit into a specific category. Make people with clipboards think twice before approaching you. Now let's all hold hands and give thanks to the mighty algorithm.